I was walking with some friends the other day and I needed to stop and go to the toilet. My friend came to the toilet with me too and confessed that she had been desperate to go. She said: “I am so pleased you said you needed to stop, I am bursting to go”. I replied: “why didn’t you tell us, we would have stopped earlier for you?” She replied “I didn’t like to ask you all to stop for me”.
When I thought about this afterwards it made me realise that although we all know its okay for our needs to be met, sometimes when it comes down to it its not always easy to ask.
What stopped her from asking?
Maybe its because she thought people would be irritated with her, be cross with her, or maybe she was worried she would be putting people out.
Is that really true?
When I wanted to stop everybody was fine with it, no one was angry with me and I wasn’t made to feel uncomfortable.
How can we change this?
If any of this resinates with you, be reassured, you are certainly not on on your own. There are lots of people who struggle with asking for day to day things. It doesn’t need to be this way, its okay to ask, here are some simple things you can practice asking for:
1) Asking for more milk in your tea or coffee.
2) Asking for your steak to be cooked more.
3) Sending a meal back in a restaurant if its not to your satisfaction.
4) Asking a family member or friend for some help.
5) Saying you need to stop to go to the toilet.
By practicing asking for things similar to this, you will realise that people will be happy to help you, they won’t be irritated or cross. When you do this be aware of how you feel and the responses you receive. You will soon realise it is fine to ask for what you need and people won't be irritated with you.
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