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    ©2017 BY MELANIE'S COUNSELLING

    Six reasons why communicating with people can be harder than you think




    Have you ever had thoughts going round and round in your head which kept you up at night and stopped you from sleeping? At some point we’ve all had things going round and round in our minds and not told anyone.


    I wonder why that is?

    We all know that we should talk about our feelings and its good to talk, but what is it that sometimes stops us? Why do we struggle on and end up not telling anyone? Sometimes we have fears and worries, this can be caused by low self esteem.


    Here are five things that might stop you from opening up?

    1) Maybe you are worried people will judge you.

    You might feel embarrassed incase they think you are stupid or being silly or making a mountain out of a molehill.

    2) You feel no one will understand.

    You might hold on to your feelings as you feel you may not be understood, so maybe its easier to just not saying anything?

    3) You fear you won’t be taken seriously.

    One of the reasons you may not want to speak to somebody is because you fear no one will take you seriously. You might think “will anyone believe me or will anyone care?”

    4) You feel you might be criticised.

    You might be worried that you will be criticised if you ask for help. You may also be worried that if you are criticised it will hurt you deep down and affect your ability to heal.

    5) Saying it out loud will make it real.

    It might be hard for you to build up the courage to tell someone, it might feel scary and overwhelming, and you may not want to go through that process because it hurts.

    Maybe if you did tell someone you can trust it would give you a different perspective, you could change negative thought patterns and begin to look at things in a different and more positive way?

    6) You don’t want to burden people with your issues.

    You may feel that you don’t want to worry people. You may feel its easier to just disappear. You may also feel you have an image to maintain and you may also feel that you don’t want to make anyone else feel low.

    So you can see that sometimes it seems easier to say nothing at all. If you don’t say anything at all there are implications with that.


    What are some of the dangers of not communicating and keeping your emotions to yourself?

    1) Exploding into a rage at some point.

    2) Your neck and shoulders feeling tight.

    3) Experience headaches.

    4) Feel anger.

    5) Feel resentment.

    6) Have depression.

    7) Feel anxious.


    So what can you do to move forward?

    Practice opening up to someone you can trust with something that isn’t too big and see what their reaction is. Afterwards think about how opening up felt for you, and if it was okay you know its safe to open up again.


    Thoughts for reflection

    Although we know that talking about our problems through with friends is helpful, it isn’t always easy to do. However, if you find the right person to talk to and this could be a friend, colleague or a counsellor, it can be a huge weight lifted from your shoulders.


    If you have something weighing heavily on your mind and you want to contact me, please do so by calling me on: 07958 365730 or you can click on the link below to visit my website:

    www.melaniesanderstherapy.co.uk


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